Though only three days have passed since my last post, it feels like much longer. I had a very nice Shabbat, which began with a lovely Friday evening service and then a really nice Shabbat dinner at the home of friends. Shabbat morning another friend and I went to a Reform synagogue in San Simon, about a half hour walk from my neighborhood. Even at 9 am, it was very, very hot. The reason we went there was that Cantor Beth Weiner, who was an important teacher to me quite a few years back, is the cantor and director of the congregation.
It was an amazing feeling to cross the park near the shul and come upon the building and hear, through its open windows, Beth chanting the shacharit service. She sounded just as she did all those years ago in Baltimore, yet here I was in Jerusalem. The service was beautiful, and I was called up for an aliyah, at which point Beth introduced me and explained who I was--in Hebrew. And I understood! It was a great feeling. Beth was my teacher fifteen years ago, when I was just beginning to learn about Judaism in a serious way as an adult. She taught me to read Torah and Haftarah and officiated at Eliana's naming.
There's a lot to share about being at her shul--too much to try to write here, but the most striking moment for me was hearing the sh'ma during the amidah. The sh'ma is one of the centra--if not the centra--Jewish prayers. When I first started attending Shabbat services as an adult, it was pretty much the only part of the liturgy I really knew. It is recited out loud at three points in the Shabbat service, and I used to wait for those times, because I knew that at least then I would be able to pray with the rest of the congregation, because I knew the words.
It's traditional to close your eyes during the sh'ma, which I usually do. Because it is the part of the liturgy that almost every Jew knows by heart, it tends to be a moment in public prayer when the voice of the congregation swells, and listening to an entire congregation chant it with my eyes closed, I am often quite moved. My good friend Johann once told me that the way to see G-d is in the faces of other people, and though I'm not at all sure what I think about G-d, I often feel that the closest access I have to the divine is in the voices of a congregation chanting together, particularly as I stand with my eyes closed and hear us all sing the sh'ma. It was a wonderful moment to hear it in Jerusalem, in a service led by Beth, having come so very far, both literally and figuratively.
I can now follow just about any Jewish prayer service, and in Israel, I've often prayed with a siddur (prayer book) entirely in Hebrew with no translation. I have come such a long way in the years since I had to wait for the sh'ma since it was all I knew. But chanting the sh'ma at Beth's shul, I felt not only amazement and a sense of satisfaction, even awe, at where I've ended up, I also felt keenly aware of how little I really know. Hebrew language and Talmud study are just beginning to open up to me. These three weeks of study have been intensely rewarding, but they also remind me that I could study all day, every day, for the rest of my life, and there would still be so very much left to learn. Still, I could not have imagined, sitting at Beth Am in my mid-twenties, that I would be praying with Beth in Jerusalem one day. That I cannot imagine today what awaits me twenty years from now, what surprises and opportunities will (G-d willing) present themselves, is a mystery and a blessing.
I was able to speak to Beth for a while, and then I headed back with my friend for lunch at her house, which was very, very nice. Then I had a nap and after Shabbat a bite to eat and start on packing. Sunday was my last full day of classes, and then I had a farewell dinner with friends. I got home right around 10:30, just as the person who rented me the apartment arrived home. We had talked on the phone a lot and emailed quite a bit, but this was our first actual meeting. She had been away on a professional development course, and we overlapped in the apartment for 12 hours. It was odd to be all packed up and have her arrive and begin unpacking, but it was fascinating to talk with her, if only for an hour or two, and hear about her experiences living in Israel for the past eight years. I went to Pardes for my last Talmud class this morning, and then we had a farewell lunch. It was really nice, though a bit too much like the last day of camp or school for me, with just a little too much hugging and picture taking.
Still, I was genuinely sad to say goodbye to my friends and my teachers, particularly my Talmud teacher, who was just phenomenal. My chevruta and I are going to continue to learn together, though (she lives in NYC), and our teacher has offered to help us with study sheets and email support, so it wasn't as sad a goodbye as it would have otherwise been. I left Pardes, picked up my bags, and shared a car service with another friend to Tel Aviv. I arrived a little after five, and I am staying at a hotel that is a converted movie theater. It's pretty cool. Once I settled in I went out to grab dinner and take a walk, and already I can see how different Tel Aviv is from Jerusalem. It feels much, much more modern and hip and much, much less religious. The energy is completely different, and so far I've heard much less English than I did in my area of Jerusalem. I had great sushi at a very trendy restaurant, and if you hadn't heard the Hebrew, you would have thought you were in New York, with the hostess taking names and sharply dressed young people waiting for tables at the bar. I didn't see any men with beards and only a few with kippot, and there are tattoos, trendy haircuts, and modern shops everywhere. You might think it was a different country from Jerusalem, though a brief foray into traffic reminded me that Israel--at least when it comes to the level of aggression and noise of its drivers--is Israel, whether Jerusalem or Tel Aviv.
I am going to the beach tomorrow morning--I am excited to see the Mediterranean for the first time--and then I am meeting a colleague from school for shopping and a museum trip. It is, as I was promised, at least as hot here as it was in Jerusalem, and far more humid, so I'm guessing an hour at the beach will be quite enough. I'm looking forward to seeing more of the city tomorrow, particularly the architecture, for which it is famous. I will try to get some photos. Tomorrow is my last day here, and I fly home Wednesday, so I'm not sure if I'll be able to even post here before I leave. I hope to have the chance to share some final ideas about the trip at some point, though. In the meantime, I hope all of you at home are well and having a great summer!
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