Now it's real

So I've been here in Israel for five days, and it's finally starting to seem real. One reason, unfortunately, is that there was a terrorist attack in Jerusalem today. Doesn't get much more real than that. It's odd--I've always been worried and upset hearing about attacks in Israel. Particularly last spring, when there was an incident at a Jerusalem yeshiva and students from our School were at a yeshiva in Jersusalem, I was really worried. But being here is different. To know that people were killed only a few miles away--the immediacy just makes it much more real. I suppose that like everyone, it's easier for me to be touched by those close to me, and now "close to me" means something new.

I'm not particularly worried for my own safety. I haven't taken busses in Jerusalem, and I'm not planning to, though I do want to try to travel to the Dead Sea at some point, and I'll probably have to take a bus there. Everywhere you go here there's security--metal detectors to enter the mall and bag searches to go into restaurants. Paradoxically, it heightens my awareness of the danger but also makes me feel safer. There's also a big police presence in Jerusalem. In any event, it still seems more dangerous to drive (0r be a pedestrian, for that matter!) here than anything else. Still, it is very different to be living some place where people just randomly attack civilians in the streets--aside from 9/11, if you don't live in an unsafe/urban area in the States, I think you have the attitude that this stuff happens elsewhere. It's pretty clear here that there is no "elsewhere."

On a happier note, I am loving Pardes. I am studying Talmud in the mornings and Torah yoga, Hebrew language, and papercutting in the afternoons. The Talmud class is great--my teacher is young, very smart, and very engaging. We are looking at a part of the Talmud that discusses the various tensions between competing mitzvot, or commandments. It's really interesting, and I really love the give and take of this kind of learning.

Lest I spend too much time in my head, I also have yoga almost every afternoon. The class is mostly about the postures but also connects up classical Jewish learning with yoga. I like it a lot, and it's great to be more grounded in my body after all the "brain" stuff. Three days a week I have Ulpan, or Hebrew language instruction. I'm in an advanced beginners class (Aleph plus), and at least some of my previous Hebrew study is returning slowly. Unfortunately, I do now feel like I've forgotten more than I ever learned--I suppose this is a disadvantage of the aging process!

I'm also taking a two day a week papercutting class--it's fun to do something somewhat mindless and "crafty," and I hope to have some nice projects to bring home. I've been getting to know people, and I will celebrate Shabbat evening here at Pardes Friday evening and then go to one of the local shuls on Shabbat morning and then out for lunch after at the home of one of the teachers here. He has family at SSDSEU, and they told him I'd be here, so he sought me out and invited me. It's nice to have a place to go.

There's not much else to share right now, although I will say that the Skype has saved my life; I feel so lucky to be able to see and talk with Matthew and Miri every day (a little less so to also see and hear my colleagues at work!). I miss Elie a lot, though, even though I am emailing her every day. I am so grateful to them, and Matthew most of all, for making this wonderful adventure possible for me. I'd love to hear from any of you if you feel like posting a reply. You are all in my thoughts. We said psalms today after we heard about the attack, and afterwards I davenned mincha with a minyan here. Prayer doesn't always do that much for me--I suppose that like most people, it's hard for me to access the kind of spiritual experience that prayer aims for. Still, it was a comfort today, particularly to say psalms with 70 or 80 other people. So, if you have the inclination, I hope you'll pray, too, for peace in Jerusalem and everywhere else.